2025 Wrapped
I just looked back at my posts and realised I haven't posted at all this year. To be fair to me I've also had a very long and difficult year so no wonder writing or even using this site has been a distant thought.
As the new year starts up again and I prepare for the whirlwind of change and the usual going ons of a year, I thought as I always do that it'd be good to collect the past year for posterity and reflection.
As a much needed update, I am back in Australia and finished off University. While I haven't completed a full bachelors, I did come away with a full Diploma of Higher Education (which converts to an Australian Associate Degree or Advanced Diploma, not sure which but it should be a Level 6 Qualification regardless). I'm now at my parent's home being a NEET, which hopefully over this recount the reasons become clear as to why.
January
We come to January, after a Christmas and New Year's in England. I should go back and read some previous blogs to remember what information I've shared and where I left off the last one, but I feel like a different enough person, and that it doesn't really matter if I divulge more or less information here so let's just move on as best I can. No point making up new memories based solely off the words of another time...
Coming out of the holiday spirit I recall being displeased with my parents attempts at a Christmas gift, having hit close enough that they gave it some thought but missed insofar as they clearly hadn't looked into any of my specific interests at the time. Pokemon was such an easy win and instead they gifted me generic Japanese treats. Which may have been appreciated if it wasn't for my lack of a sweet tooth and picky apetite.
It was somewhat improved by my now ex/still best friend spending the time with me and helping convince me to order the seasonal pikachu. It was the best decision and remains a comfort in difficult times.
January also heralded the approach of a new semester. That meant deadlines for assignments were fast approaching. At this point my mental health had recovered if only slightly from the trauma that was my part time job at the student union (as a student officer no less). Nonetheless I still struggled to get much work done or make specific lee way into my work. I recall relying heavily on the built-in copilot features of VSCode to help generate the building blocks of code to then be refined by my own scrutinising eye.
February to Easterish / March
I barely got my work in on time and continued into the new year. I can't recall exactly when, but I had gotten through all the interview stages of a google summer internship application. I was just waiting for the placement email for what project and team i would be assigned. I assumed it was a done deal, and had made a promise to myself that if I got this google internship I would tough out this year and another year to finish my bachelors.
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you think about it) I recieved a rejection email. It simply said they were unable to assign me to a project. I was only a little disheartened, mostly at not getting to work at google if only for a summer. As the semester began to wrap up and our final assignments were given as well as the last of the content was taught, I began to prepare for some tough conversations with my parents. For despite not leaving the UK for the past 2 and a half years, I would be returning home for the first time for the easter break.
Easter / Late March and Early April
Easter comes around and I make the journey back down under. Its over 20 hours of travel, but I make it back in one piece. The holiday schedule is packed with meeting family and visiting family friends. My parents hosted a big easter event and I got all caught up on the changes and additions to their home (which happens to be a small private farm, so a lot can happen).
I wouldn't say it was a bad time. It was busy which helped keep my mind off things. We had a few meetings together to discuss my future and how I was going and they also had conversations with my psychologist to get a third party and professional viewpoint on everything. I will say those assignments I had to do did not really get done and in reality I got 1 of 3 done with a lot of help from co pilot. Thank god for fundamental assignments that ask for the most common image correction algorithms and techniques.
At the end of everything we had agreed on one thing. That I would finish up my year at Durham, begin the process to withdraw, and move back home to Australia. It wasn't easy and it will take a lot longer for my parents and I to mutually understand each other's reasons and feelings about the matter. However from my perspective at least the reasons to return were as follows:
- Lack of local medical support for medications (the GP Practice I'd chosen and that the University recommended was refusing the prescription of one of my HRT medications, making life difficult and with no staff helping me navigate a resolution)
- Lack of local mental health support (I was able to get onto ADHD medication thanks to a Psychiatrist in South England, but the GP refused to prescribe the medication or even conduct an ECG as requested by the psychiatrist due to heart concerns that had arisen)
- Lack of friend/general support (I'd like to think I had people I could talk to, who would support me; but the reality was that I would be unlikely to reach out to them for support or 'bother' them about my problems. I went to events, socialised, etc. but I still felt isolated and my best/only friend was about to graduate so things didn't look great going into a new academic year)
- Retrospective reflection (When I and my parents looked back with the knowledge we have now, sending me overseas to study looks like an insane idea. Not only am I autistic and have ADHD, but the only reasons to go was because I had a very expensive international high school qualification, and I had friends going. My medical and mental health team were in Australia, so were my parents, it would have many times cheaper to go local and there was even a potential Japan trip if I had chosen to study in Aus. My parents later revealed that they had been quite reserved about sending me overseas and 'wanted' to just let me come home everytime I shared how difficult things were, but in the Easter time I am speaking of, this was VERY not apparent. I assumed they wanted me to stay and push through, but that was a revelation a few tearful conversations later than now)
April to May
Update 19 April 2026: I ended up getting busy and haven't had the heart to finish this. It was a tough year and I think what I've already written reflects a lot of that. I'm now slowly moving forward again with cautious optimism, and I'd much rather put my energy and attention into the new exciting things happening then remember this difficult time. Sorry if you wanted to know more :)