Caring for a Cactus Cat 🌵😸
Rules:
- If your owner says its ok, pretend everything is ok
- If anyone goes to shower, make sure to come say hi
- Always hug your cactus cat
The history of my relationship with my current partner is not straight forward nor as sweet as it may seem. There have been quite a few incidents of toxicity. At some point recently I came up with the term Cactus Cat to describe our dynamic.
Cactus because I always hurt her and cat because she can't find it in her to push me away. This was during one of the down periods where we/I was fighting and things weren't great. We fixed things eventually and came up with those 3 rules.
Rule 1 was because I tend to be overly sensitive and sometimes my partner needs me to be calm even if she isn't. If I can give her some space, she is able to resolve situations more easily.
Rule 2 is because one way I calm down is by having hot showers. However, I'm also not usually in a good headspace and the atmosphere makes my thoughts wander. Shower thoughts nonsense ya know. So its important if either of us is taking a while to go say hi and check in. It can help a lot in breaking the cycle and having an excuse to come out.
Rule 3 is a general sentiment to keep me close. However, it comes with the subtext that it can hurt to keep me close and so the rule is a promise to keep me close even if it hurts or even if I'm being hurtful. Its maybe not an ideal rule, but sometimes I need a hug to just break out of a cycle.
If you have a cactus cat in your life, I hope you have it in you to keep them close, keep them safe, and love them no matter what. Its also ok if you can't do that as well. Not everyone can hold on, not everyone is compatible. But if you are, it really can mean the world to have someone around.
Thanks for reading? Bit of a weird one. Just working through some stuff :) see you around.