Finding community online
I've gotten back into a video game I have loved since I first played it. Rainbow Six Siege. My friend bought my first ever copy and every time I've come back to the game despite all its changes and tweaks, I can still find my way to the familiar operators and strategies and its always comforting in a way.
I had the fortune to, at least for a while, play with other people and discover a new aspect to the game. Its been about 2-3 years since then and as I return once more, I miss the teamwork, coordination and pride that comes with playing with others.
So I tried looking around and quickly found that other female siege players struggled to make connections, be respected, and find teammates in a safe space.
Considering most of my gaming life was pre-transition and I'm only now picking up team games again, I never realised just how nerve wracking it was to reveal myself. To be vulnerable and how much it hurt when I get kicked from a group just because I'm a woman. also maybe cause I'm trans and proud.
I've poked my head into a few girl gamer discord servers and am trying my luck, but it feels awful to lose access to so many opportunities to play and connect just because the risk of hurt is to high.
I can only try to build and contribute to the communities I wish to see and hope being available makes a difference to someone else starting their journey or returning to the fray.